


years go by, whether you want them to

by louislovesharry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Babies, Cuddles, Fluff, Happy Ending, Kid Fic, Love and Happiness, M/M, Married harry and louis, Mpreg, Mpreg Harry, Premature Birth, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, a tiny bit of angst, but keep in mind this is me so it's so slight lmao, like honestly, original tomlinson styles child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-20 01:31:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11325870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louislovesharry/pseuds/louislovesharry
Summary: A girl. They were having a little girl, and Harry couldn’t be happier. He had dreamed of having a daughter for as long as he could remember. A tiny little angel that he could dress up, have tea parties, pick flowers with. And if that wasn’t her thing, Louis could play footie with her, they could teach her how to play guitar and play with toy trucks. There was nothing Harry wanted more than to have and hold this beautiful creature that they had made together out of pure love, and nurture and cherish her for always.





	years go by, whether you want them to

**Author's Note:**

> hi, friends! I've been wanting to post something for a while now, but I was having a hard time writing. I churned most of this out tonight, and I really wanted to post it before I changed my mind or deleted half of it. I hope you enjoy! title is from 'Don't Cry, 2020' by COIN - go check them out, they're amazing!

Miss Esme Tomlinson-Styles was destined to be a bright, shining light in the world. Harry knew it from the moment he learned he was pregnant with her; he fell in love with her long before he ever met her or saw her tiny face. When the fourth pregnancy test that he had gotten from Tesco in a tizzy after weeks of retching and nausea read as positive, he burst into tears. Happy tears, of course. Louis had arrived home a few hours later and immediately he knew something was up when he saw Harry’s face, beaming as bright as the sun but with tear tracks down his cheeks.

One flash of the pregnancy test had Louis sweeping Harry off his feet and into his arms, grinning so wide his cheeks began to hurt. 

“It’s positive? It’s really positive, H?” Louis had asked as he peppered kisses all over Harry’s face.

“Yeah babe, finally. God, we’re finally pregnant!” Harry sobbed again and cupped Louis’ wet cheeks with his warm, large hands. “Fuck, I can’t believe this Louis, thank you, I love you.”

Louis smiled and closed the already small space separating their lips, giving Harry the first proper kiss since he left for work this morning. “We deserve this baby, Haz. After all this time, they’re here. I love you, and I love them.”

 

\-----

A girl. They were having a little girl, and Harry couldn’t be happier. He had dreamed of having a daughter for as long as he could remember. A tiny little angel that he could dress up, have tea parties, pick flowers with. And if that wasn’t her thing, Louis could play footie with her, they could teach her how to play guitar and play with toy trucks. There was nothing Harry wanted more than to have and hold this beautiful creature that they had made together out of pure love, and nurture and cherish her for always.

Louis was over the moon, as well. So many sisters and women were present in both of their lives, and they felt so content knowing that they’d have their own little girl very shortly. They couldn’t wait to show her how powerful women are and help her grow into her own strong, mighty being.

“Lou, she just kicked again,” Harry murmured in the dark room.

Louis hummed, kissing Harry’s bare shoulder from where he was spooning up behind him. “Seems like she’s a night owl, huh?”

Louis sat up, rubbed his eyes, and resituated himself so he was laying on his side right in front of Harry’s beautiful belly. “What are you doing up so late, little lady, hm? Are you just lettin’ your daddies know you’re there?” Louis leaned forward to place a sweet kiss to Harry’s bump, right where their daughter was moving around. As soon as he made contact with Harry’s stomach, more kicks followed.

Harry giggled, placing his hand on the exact spot where she was kicking, Louis following and intertwining their hands. “She’s obsessed with her Papa and his voice already,” Harry stated fondly.

Louis grinned and leaned down for another kiss. “And she loves her Daddy oh so very much. It’s impossible not to. You’re taking the best care of her, my love.”

Harry ducked his head and blushed. “Love being pregnant,” he whispered. “ ‘m gonna want loads more Lou, I hope you’re prepared.”

Humming, Louis pressed his lips to Harry’s hand. It was bigger than his, warmer and familiar. It made him feel safe, at home. Every time he saw the wedding ring sitting so prettily on Harry’s fourth finger, he got butterflies. Harry could have absolutely anyone in the world, had men and women alike falling at his feet. And yet, he woke up every day choosing Louis. Luck was never something Louis thought he had much of, but he’s certainly aware of the goldmine he struck in calling Harry his.

“Babe?” 

Louis startled when he realized Harry had been speaking to him. It was a habit of his to sometimes lose his head a bit and become unfocused. Usually, he just blamed it on being too in love with Harry to handle. Harry, of course, could never not fluster at Louis being so sweet, albeit a bit joking, and would proceed to snog the life out of him.

“Yeah, love? Sorry ‘bout that. Got a bit distracted there.”

“It’s okay. I think she’s finally asleep,” Harry whispered.

“Hmm?” Louis pressed a gentle palm to Harry’s stomach, but was met with no movement. “The little bugger wore herself out in there, bless,” Louis cooed.

Harry smiled and his jade eyes were shimmering in the darkness. “Lou, come spoon me again, ‘m getting all cold and lonely over here. Gimme attention.” Harry pouted, and he knew exactly what that pretty pink pout did to Louis. His husband could never turn Harry down when he pouted, always giving in to him (quite quickly) and letting him get his way before promptly kissing the pout away from his lips until they were cherry red and swollen. A pouting pregnant Harry was even harder for Louis to refuse, so of course he obliged.

“Love you, H,” Louis mumbled as he resumed his rightful position plastered against Harry’s back and cuddled him within an inch of his life.

Harry could only muster out a sleepy “Love you more,” before he quickly conked out and fell asleep, safe and content in his lover’s arms.

 

\-----

“Charlie, Chrystal, Chrysanthemum… Ha! Fat chance that we’re naming our daughter Chrysanthemum, Haz. Why is that even in here?!” Louis couldn’t contain his dismay over the selection of names in the baby book they had bought. At seven months pregnant, Harry was itching to pick out the perfect name for their daughter. Every day they would pore through the book, hoping to find ‘the one’; so far, they had had no luck.

Harry rolled his eyes and continued to scroll through his phone, perusing Pinterest for name ideas. They had been at this for days now, and Harry was growing increasingly impatient. He didn’t want his baby girl to be unnamed forever. As he scrolled aimlessly, hearing Louis talking to himself in the background, he finally stopped on a pin that caught his interest. “Esme,” he breathed, trying it out. It was absolutely perfect.

“Esme,” he said aloud again, but this time loud enough for Louis to hear.

“What was that, babe?”

“It means esteemed and loved. Esme. It’s perfect Lou, that’s our daughter’s name. She’s Esme.”

Louis set the book down and walked over to Harry, who was cradling his bump and smiling so wide his dimples were popping out. “It’s gorgeous, love,” Louis breathed as he wrapped Harry into a hug. “I absolutely love it. She is Esme, isn’t she?” 

Harry grinned even wider, if possible, and fiercely kissed Louis. “Can feel her moving around,” he murmured once he pulled away, glossy eyed and red lipped. “Think she likes her new name.”

Louis migrated his hands down to Harry’s belly, and surely there she was, moving around as if saying: “Hi! I’m here, and I love you! Thank you for finally naming me!”

Louis nuzzled his head into the dip between Harry’s neck and shoulder, dropping a kiss to his warm, sweet smelling skin. “Can’t wait to meet you, sweet Esme. You’re already very loved.”

 

\-----

Nothing could have prepared Harry for the surprise that was Esme’s birthday. He was only 34 weeks when she decided to come into the world. A quiet morning doing yoga turned into a flurry of nerves and worry when he felt his water break.

“Fuck, pick up pick up pick up,” Harry muttered as he called Louis with the only response being the repetitive ringing. Finally, Louis answered and Harry promptly burst into tears.

“H? Baby, what’s wrong? Are you alright?”

“Lou, my water fucking broke and I’m only – it’s too early Lou, why is she coming so early?” Harry sobbed.

“Fuck,” Louis murmured. “Love, are you in pain? Do you need me to call an ambulance, or can you wait ‘til I get home? I’m leaving now baby, I’ll be there in about 10 minutes. But I need you to calm down, darling. Take deep breaths, like we’ve practiced, yeah? Nice and deep, there you go. Relax, everything will be okay.”

“Promise?” Harry whimpered pitifully as he sat and took deep breaths, cradling his large bump.

“I promise, my love. Our little girl is so excited to meet us that she just couldn’t wait any longer. And she’s already being quite the drama queen, making her grand entrance like this. Guess I’m to blame for that trait, sorry gorgeous.”

Harry laughed, and felt some of the stress melt away just from Louis talking to him. He knew he needed to calm down as much as possible, for the sake of Esme. Despite the terrifying circumstances, he truly couldn’t wait to finally meet her.

“Lou, are you almost here?” Harry asked.

“Almost, love. I’m breaking about every traffic law in the book at the mo’ but I’m just about home. You stay there and keep breathing for me, yeah?”

“Mhm,” Harry replied. “Oh god, we haven’t got the car seat or baby bag prepared, babe. I can’t believe this is actually happening so soon, fuck.”

Louis laughed shakily. “Honey, let’s not worry about that, yeah? We may not be fully prepared, but that doesn’t matter. Our baby girl is finally joining us, hm? ‘m so excited.”

 

\-----

Preterm premature rupture of membranes, or PROM for short, was what the obstetrician said had occurred with Harry; which was why his water broke so early. Since he was at 34 weeks, she recommended he deliver now, due to an increased risk of infection, complications, and placental abruption.

Harry squeezed Louis’ hand as Dr. Radcliffe rambled on, still fixated on what she had just said – complications. Even as she assured him that Esme would likely be fine, despite being premature, he couldn’t help but worry, and feel incredibly guilty.

Louis picked up on this extremely quickly after the doctor left, squeezing Harry’s hand tightly and leaning over the railing of the hospital bed to give him a kiss.

“It’s all going to be alright, love. Did you hear what Dr. Radcliffe said? We’re going to get to meet her so soon and reduce the risk of any infections. She’s going to be healthy and perfect, H.”

Harry sniffled and rubbed his teary eyes. “I just feel so at fault, Lou. My own body failed my baby. I couldn’t even keep her safe and healthy like I’m supposed to,” he cried softly.

Louis grabbed his other hand and held them firmly. “Harry, look at me.” Wet, green eyes met his gaze, and in them Louis saw his whole world. As far as he was concerned, there was no such green as Harry’s eyes. He could spend years searching for the exact shade and pigmentation, but it would be useless. Harry’s whole being was incomparable to anything he’d ever come across. “You have done nothing wrong, darling. You’ve done everything right, and you’re a perfect Daddy to our daughter. She adores you in the most special, intimate way already. Your body amazes me, baby; and all that you’ve done these past months blows my mind. You’re incredible.”

Wiping away the tears that had finally stopped falling, Louis gently cupped Harry’s cheeks and kissed his gorgeous lips. “I won’t let anything happen to you two, baby. You know that. We’ll all be absolutely perfect.”

Harry nodded and wiped his eyes. “Okay, I think I’m good now. I’m ready to meet her, Lou. Let’s do this.”

 

\-----

Esme came into the world at 2:27 pm, weighing only 5 pounds and 3 ounces, but she was healthy nonetheless. Harry sobbed when she was placed into his arms for the first time, marveling at how tiny but mighty she was. Louis couldn’t help but cry as well, a smile on his face as he watched Harry hold her and coo over her little face.

She was gorgeous, in every way and meaning of the word. She was incredibly small, dwarfed by Harry’s ginormous hands, but she was their angel. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry, stroking Esme’s face softly and gently, scared to break her because of how vulnerable she was right now. She would have to be taken momentarily for tests, but this moment was theirs.

“How about Victoria?” Louis asked out of the blue.

Harry did not break eye contact with Esme, still gazing at her longingly and holding on to her tightly. “Hm?”

“For her middle name. I’ve always thought it’s a beautiful name, but its meaning is even more perfect - victorious and triumphant. That’s our girl, Haz.”

Harry smiled, finally looking up from the sweet baby in his arms to lock eyes with Louis.

“Esme Victoria. It’s perfect. And so is she.”

Louis stroked a finger along Harry’s cheekbone, in awe over how beautiful his boy and his little girl were. “I’m endlessly proud of you, H. You did fabulous, look at her. I love you so much, thank you for making us a little family.”

Esme let out a snuffle and her tiny face scrunched up as she slept. Both Louis and Harry didn’t want to take their eyes off her for a second. Their little miracle baby was here, and suddenly their lives had more meaning, and felt entirely complete.

 

\-----

“Daddy, what day is it today?” Esme asked as Harry was carefully plaiting her long blond hair.

“It is Tuesday, love.”

“And my birthday is on Sunday?” 

Harry bit back a laugh at his daughter. For weeks, she had been counting down to her birthday, and every morning it was the same ‘day of the week’ discussion. Harry actually looked forward to it, he adored everything that came out of his little girl’s mouth.

“That it is, my darling. How many days away is Sunday, can you tell me? And how old will you be?”

Esme bit her lip and furrowed her eyebrows, looking much like Harry when he was intently concentrating on something. “After Tuesday is Wednesday, then Thursday, then Friday, then Saturday… and then it’s Sunday! And I’m going to be four, Daddy!”

“You’re right lovey, so that’s five days away, yeah? My baby is so smart, I can’t believe you’re going to be four whole fingers.”

If Harry were to be brutally honest, he didn’t want his little girl to grow up. The past four years have been a blur, but a blessing. Esme kept her dads on their toes, but she was the sweetest little girl. Louis always joked that she may have gotten his looks, but she was a carbon copy of Harry in every other way. She was a little spitfire, full of sass and spunk, an independent thing. Yet, she was also kind, caring, insightful, and shy. She was the most beautiful creature, and Harry grew prouder of her as the days flew by.

“Daddy, has Papa gone to work yet? I need my cuddle this morning!” Esme exclaimed as Harry tied an elastic around her plait to secure it.

“He hasn’t yet, bug. He’s probably having a cuppa in the kitchen right now, why don’t you go say good morning to him. I’m sure he’d love that.”

“I’m going to go surprise him Daddy, he’ll be so happy! He loves our morning cuddles,” she stated matter of factly.

“Of course, darling. Come give Daddy a kiss, then go see your Papa.”

She obliged happily, never one to turn up a kiss from her Daddy or Papa. Harry yearned for her to stay this young and little, when kissing your dad wasn’t a chore and everything was a magical game. Sighing, Harry thought about all the things on his agenda today. He would take Esme to the park, and hopefully wear her out so she’d go down for her nap easily. Then he had to finalize plans and make calls for her party this weekend, which would feature a bounce castle and “real life princesses, please Daddy!” Whatever his baby girl wanted, she would get. He was so soft for her, damnit.

All the while, he tried to shake off the sick feeling that washed over him this morning, as it had for the past week. Harry knew he was pregnant. He had a really strong hunch, at least. They hadn’t used a condom a few months ago when they were both tipsy off cheap wine during one of their date nights, and he swore he could make out the tiniest of bumps if he looked hard enough. He hadn’t taken a test yet, out of fear of being wrong. He wanted to be pregnant again more than anything, but he was also nervous about the outcome after Esme’s premature birth. He wanted this so badly, for himself, Louis, who wanted another baby in the house more than anything, and Esme, who was always talking about being a big sister.

“Daddy! Where are you hidin’ silly Billy?!” Esme called from the kitchen.

Harry laughed and made his way to the two loves of his life, eyes and heart softening when he was met with the sight of Esme sitting on Louis’ lap, arms thrown around his neck and nuzzled against his bare chest. Louis was rubbing his hands up and down her back, dropping kisses to the top of her head.

“Am I missing a cuddle fest in here?” Harry questioned jokingly.

Louis laughed, light and airy, before replying, “Oh yes Harold, you’re missing out on the best cuddles in town.”

Harry pouted, but a shiver went up his spine when he heard the lovely rasp to Louis’ voice. It got to him every damn morning, and he couldn’t help himself. He was just so beautiful, all the time. He had a few grays here and there, but Harry had never found him to be so sexy. He was constantly entranced by him.

“That’s okay, Daddy. Papa and I will always share our cuddles with you, because you’re the very best Daddy in the world. That’s what Papa says and I agree.”

A grin replaced Harry’s pout, and he plastered himself to Louis’ back, giving both of them a kiss.

“How nice of you to say, Esme; thank you. Now, why don’t you go fetch your trainers and put them on so we can get ready for the park?”

Esme gasped and nodded, blue eyes going wide, before she promptly scampered off in search of her beloved pink trainers.

Louis smiled, making grabby hands for Harry, to which Harry ceremoniously plopped himself into Louis’ lap, replacing their daughter’s spot. Louis’ hands immediately settled on Harry’s soft, warm hips; arguably one of his favorite spots on Harry.

“Morning,” he rasped as he tilted his head so their foreheads were touching, noses brushing against each other, and lips only a few centimeters apart.

“G’morning,” Harry whispered back, before giving in and connecting their lips into a sweet, familiar dance. Their intimacy couldn’t be described with words, and it had only grown throughout the years. Their love for each other was unmatched and unexplainable. 

The kiss went on for moments and lifetimes, deepened until tongues caressed each other and lips blurred, their beings intertwined into one. Louis finally pulled back, separating their lips but leaving little space between them.

“Didn’t say how much I love you this morning, but I do,” he breathed, eyes flickering down to Harry’s lips which were crimson and swollen. Just how Louis loved them most.

A blush settled on Harry’s cheeks, making him even more gorgeous in the morning light. The words, compliments, endearments, and love declarations that constantly flowed from Louis’ lips left him breathless and weightless at the same time. He felt like he could run a marathon, or free fall from the highest skyscraper knowing how much his husband loved him.

“I love you so much,” Harry responded. “Do you have to go to work today? Just call in and stay with me and Esme.”

“Tempting, but I have to go, baby. I shouldn’t be gone for too long, yeah? Hopefully sometime this afternoon I’ll be back to my two favorite people.”

Harry smiled and bit his lip, looking down. He didn’t realize right away, but he was looking at his stomach. Louis noticed of course, tilting Harry’s head up and meeting his gaze.

“H? Are you alright, love?”

Harry nodded, arms wrapping around Louis’ neck and fingers carding through the bed head Louis was still sporting. Absently, he wondered if Esme had gotten distracted and was currently destroying her room which they had just painstakingly cleaned together. He wouldn’t be surprised, it wouldn’t be the first time it had happened.

“It’s just… I know it’s been a while since we’ve properly talked about it – about having another baby – and I know we haven’t really been trying, either. I know you want another one, and I do too, of course…”

“Harry, where is this going?” Louis cut off his incessant rambling. Something he did when he was nervous. “Are you pregnant?” He asked with a grin blooming on his face.

“Yes. No. Actually, maybe. I don’t really know, Lou. I haven’t taken a test yet, but I have this feeling that I am. I’m just overwhelmed, and I haven’t been able to find the time and courage to take a test. I just don’t want a repeat of last time, you know?” Harry’s voice dropped to a whisper, eyes shining and threatening to let tears escape.

Louis’ hands started running up and down his husband’s back on autopilot, something he always did when Harry got emotional. It calmed him down, made him feel anchored and safe. “Honey, last time was perfect. There were surprises but everything turned out fine. Look at us now, love. Esme is perfectly healthy and happy, and so are we. If you are pregnant again – God, I love saying that – we’re going to be amazing. Imagine how happy Esme will be if you are,” he said soothingly.

Harry cracked a smile at that, leaning in to kiss Louis once more. “She’d be over the moon. And she’ll be the best big sister, I know it.”

“See,” Louis teased. “Papa is always right.”

Harry swatted his chest, then reached for his hands, placing them on top of his on his stomach. “What do you think?”

“I think,” Louis started, before pausing to kiss Harry deeply, “That we should go out and buy you some pregnancy tests, hm?”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you endlessly, as always, for reading! I hope you loved it! kudos and comments are my most favorite thing, and go check out my other works!!


End file.
